Happily Melancholy
by adelisbeth
Summary: Jean x Marco AU. Marco passes away in an unexpected accident and leaves Jean to take care of their surrogate and the child Marco desperately wanted.
1. Prologue

**Happily Melancholy**

"We are gathered here today to farewell Marco Bodt. A loving husband, a caring friend…" The preacher looks up briefly at Jean and attempts to study his expression. Jean's glance is fixated on the coffin that has become the home of his beloved husband, Marco. There's a distant look in his eyes. Marco's death was completely unexpected. Now that Jean had completely come to grips with what happened, he felt more lost than he had ever felt before. Marco was Jean's constant, the one who would always be there and without him – nothing seemed worth it anymore.

[FLASHBACK]

It's morning and as always, Jean is the first to awaken out of the pair. His eyes slowly fluttered open as he slipped back into consciousness. A wide smile spread across his lips as he discovered Marco sleeping right next to him. He'd never be able fully adjust to how amazing this feeling was, waking up to your soul mate was an experience only bested by holding your soul mate. He slowly leaned in towards him and pressed a soft kiss aganinst the brunette's lips. And, just like that, Marco was awake.

A soft chuckle escaped Jean. "Just like Snow White," he teased, kissing his drowsy husband once again.

Marco's face crinkled slightly. "That's not how you say good morning. Want to try again?"

Jean nodded, leaning in close once again before pressing soft kisses onto Marco's lips.

A smile pulled at the corner of Marco's lips, growing wider with each kiss. "Better," he mumbled softly against Jean's lips.

Pulling away reluctantly, Jean laid his head back onto his pillow. Marco watched Jean for a moment, moving closer towards him. "Jean…" He started, interlacing their fingers together.

Jean simply nodded in response. The brunette pressed a soft kiss onto his husband's shoulder, "I want a baby."  
"You think we're ready?" Jean simply asked, looking at Marco.

Marco nodded. "I really think we are. We've come a long way and since we're married, it only seems fitting that you or I impregnate a surrogate the old-fashioned way through IVF."

The blonde's glance moved towards his husband, a smile on his lips. "If we get you a baby, does that mean I can finally get a dog?"

"Don't try to bargain with me," Marco snapped back in response, "I know you want a baby just as much as I do. I can see it in your eyes." Smiling, Marco pressed his lips against Jean's. "You're not fooling anyone."

Jean slowly pulled away, a low groan escaping him. "I still really want a dog."

[END FLASHBACK.]

The preacher finishes his monologue that he has prepared for the occasion. "Jean?" The preacher asks, his voice soft.

Reluctantly, Jean tears his glance away from the coffin to face the voice.

"Your rose." Jean nods at the preacher's request and places his rose onto the wooden coffin.

As they slowly lower Marco into the grown, Jean closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. His eyes slowly open when he hears Marco's new wooden home hit the ground. "I love you, Marco Bodt," he whispers, tears welling up in his eyes.


	2. Til Death

**Chapter 1: 'Til Death**

It's been a month since Marco's funeral and Jean has yet to find the courage to leave his home. Instead, he spends all of his time curled up in the bed he and Marco once shared, watching their wedding video over and over. Whenever it finishes, Jean simply rewinds the disk to the beginning and begins watching again.

Sometimes when he wakes up, he forgets. Just for a second. He forgets that the love of his life was taken away from him but when he remembers, it's as if he's getting the call once again. He still remembers the exact words he and the police officer shared. Jean knew something was wrong the moment he heard the man's voice as he attempted to delicately tip toe around the blond's feelings.

Jean shook his head as if to shake the policeman's voice out of his mind. "Stop," he told himself. "Stop..." He repeated, as if that would make him stop thinking about his beloved Marco. Exhaling slowly, he directs his eyes back to his television screen – Marco is talking about how he's feeling about their wedding day. "I can't believe it's finally here... I've been waiting to marry Jean the second I met him," the perfectly preserved Marco said, a wide smile on his lips.

Instead of making Jean smile as it normally did, Jean simply buried his face into his pillow and screamed. It wasn't supposed to be like this. They were supposed to grow old together, to travel the world together, to have a baby together. Finally lifting his head from the pillow, Jean took a deep breath and tried to finish watching the rest of the video. He was now on the screen. Another scream escaped him. This one was more desperate, angry. Before he was aware of what he was doing, he threw his pillow at his television with all of his might. "It should have been me!" He screamed, tears welling up in his eyes. His breathing was now uneven, his face bright red as he continued to watch the stupidly happy man on the screen talk about his husband to be, Marco.

"You're an idiot!" He screamed at himself, "You're an idiot! You're an idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" He continued to scream. "Marco is gone and it's all your fault. You should have protected him better! You promised him!"

Jean took a deep breath, hoping it would calm him down but alas, no such luck. He let his tears fall freely down his face. Jean slowly came to realise how lonely he truly was. There he was, all alone, yelling at a younger, happier version of himself. Marco was his person. He couldn't possibly live without him. Then suddenly, almost out of nowhere, Jean heard Marco's voice coming from the television once again. "Not everyone is lucky enough to find their soul mate but I was and I am never letting him go. You hear that, Jean? 'Til death do us part," Marco said once again, emphasising the words, "'til death."

Laying back down onto the bed, Jean pulled the covers over himself. He closed his eyes once again and tried to force himself to fall asleep. He needed to escape from this torture. Even though Marco wasn't there with him anymore, Jean wasn't able to shake Marco's presence which was something he desperately wanted, just to avoid all of this pain. He needed his perfect husband back, not just his voice from their wedding video or his smile in the many pictures they had taken together. He needed all of him back.

The wedding tape kept playing and eventually, it came to a stop. Jean didn't get up to rewind it this time. Instead, he simply laid in the silence.

The silence was broken by the sound of the phone ringing. Jean let it go to voicemail. The bedroom became filled with the female's voice. "Hi... Jean..." She started awkwardly, "I know this might not be a good time since you've been dodging my calls and I don't really know where we stand... But I have a doctor's appointment this week on Wednesday. We're going to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. You're more than welcome to come if you're feeling up to it. Well... That's all. I'll see you on Wednesday. I hope."


	3. The Surrogate

**Chapter 2: The Surrogate**

Days quickly began to blur together as Jean spent more and more time in bed. There were more voice mails from Mikasa and Eren but he didn't care. He couldn't even bear to look at Mikasa after Marco's accident.

[FLASHBACK]

Jean and Marco were sat at the dining room table. They had just finished a late breakfast and now, they were looking at resumes of sorts. Jean picked up a piece of paper from the coffee table and began to read. Marco watched him for a moment before resting his head on the blond's shoulder. "Anything interesting?" He asked, a tired expression on his face.

Jean shook his head and placed the piece of paper back down onto the table. "None of them are right for us, Marco."

The brunette simply nodded in response, "I know but we have to pick one."

Jean turned his head to face Marco, pressing a kiss on the top of his head. "Well... Who do you like?"

Marco lifts his head from Jean's shoulder and quickly looks through the papers in front of him. "There was one... That I thought was good yesterday..." Jean watches Marco search through the papers for their perfect candidate. "But... I can't seem to..."

A moment passes before Marco stops looking. "Damnit," he muttered, annoyed with himself and the mess before him.

A soft smile spreads across Jean's lips. "Hey... Don't get worked up over this, it'll work itself out. We'll find her eventually," he said, reassuringly before pressing a soft kiss onto Marco's lips. "I promise," he mumbled against the brunette's lips before kissing him once again.

"Bu-" Marco mumbled, unable to finish his sentence as Jean's lips against his own once more. "Are you really going to -" He started to mumble but once again, he was interrupted my Jean's lips.

"Yes."

[END FLASHBACK]

Jean's eyes slowly opened once again as he sat up on his bed. His eyes slowly scanned his bedroom. There were empty takeaway containers from various fast food establishments scattered all over the floor. He slowly crawled out of bed and walked downstairs into the kitchen. "I need a maid," he mumbled to himself as he made his way to the liquor cabinet. He quickly grabbed the bottle of vodka and took a large swig. His face crinkled as he felt the burn travel down his throat. "Ugh..."

Before he could take another sip, there was a knock on the door. Slowly, he walked to the door and opened it to reveal Mikasa. "Uh... Uh..." He stuttered, his brain unable to form any kind of word let alone a sentence.

"Give me that," she ordered, snatching the bottle of vodka from his hands. Without giving it a second thought, she threw the bottle into the bin. "Out of all of the things you've done, Jean..." She mumbled, walking into his apartment.

"This place is..." Before she could finish her sentence, an out of breath Eren interrupted her. "How... How did you make it to their front door before me? You're pregnant!"

Mikasa shot Eren a look as if to say, "we're not here to discuss your fitness or... Lack there of. Focus." Mikasa's focus quickly shifted back onto Jean.

"Why haven't you replied to any of my voicemails?"

[FLASHBACK]

Once again, Jean and Marco were sat at the kitchen table, looking through resumes. "This is ridiculous. Why can't we just pick someone we know and love?" Marco asked, his eyes scanning another woman's application.

Jean shrugged. "I mean we could but... I think it might be a little awkward to ask them? Her?" He responded. A moment passed before he looked at Marco. "Why? Did you have someone in mind?"

Marco nodded. "There's this girl that I really love. She's caring, loving, amazing and not to mention beautiful and her hair defies gravity."

"Are you sure you don't want to date her?" Jean teased, a soft chuckle escaping him.

Marco shot Jean a look, "Why would I want to date her when I'm already married to the world's biggest idiot?" He teased, pressing a quick kiss onto Jean's lips.

"Hey!" Jean exclaimed in a faux offended tone.

Marco smiled at Jean, shaking his head. A moment passed before Marco spoke again. "It's Mikasa."

Jean turned his head to look at Marco. "Mikasa... Huh..." He mumbled, nodding her head slightly. "I wonder what she'd say."

[END FLASHBACK]

"Well, Jean Kirschtein?" She repeated herself when Jean didn't respond to her initial question. "Are you really going to keep a pregnant woman waiting?"


End file.
